My assistant told me a funny story yesterday. Her daughter, who is also Asperger's, gets one hour of computer time a day. On the weekend she kind of "extended" her computer time on her own on Saturday, so on Sunday, she was told that she had used all of her time. She looked at her mother, crossed her arms and growled!!!!!!! Really Growled!!!
Now my assistant was less than impressed and put her in an immediate time out but her husband ran over pulled her aside and said "but look! She is showing emotion!" She related the story and told me that usually the only way you could tell her daughter was mad was that she would cross her arms and little red spots would break out on her face. Tiny angry spots were the only leaks of her emotions.
One of the greatest pieces of Dr. Tony Attwood's CAT kit , is a section called the Body Thermometer.
It is a pretty simple concept. Our kids are relatively unaware of emotion. And they definitely don't label it the way we do. However, the biological indicators are the same for all of us. Anger shows us as heat, sweaty hands, heart pounding, sometimes headache, anxiety. Happy shows up as a feeling of energy, lightness, tingling, uncontrollable giggles. Funny enough, the indicators for fear and excitement are the same. Isn't that interesting? In that case, it is how the "mind" chooses to label the indicators. Which means, we actually have a choice noticing that set of indicators. Personally, I always enjoy excitement a lot more than fear!
The idea behind the body thermometer is that it is a laminated picture of a body. There are blanks all around the figure, beside the hands, heart, head, etc that you can fill out. There are also colour zones, green, yellow and red. You can think of them like stop lights. Green are emotions you don't have to monitor too closely. It is hard to hurt someone getting too happy. Yellow, is the zone where we start to pay attention to possible problematic emotions or early indications. Red, is where we notice the full blown expression of emotions like anger, sadness, fear etc.
Helping our kids control their behaviour around their emotions requires that they first be able to recognize the signs their bodies are giving them that they are entering that emotional state. This looks different for each person although there are general cues. The best way to start is in the moment that they are experiencing an emotion, create a process where you can do a body inventory with them. What is happening in your head right now? How about your hands? Are you clenching your hands into fists? Are they open? Are they sweaty or cold or warm?
Help them make an inventory of what happens to them during some basic familiar emotions.
Once you have done this you can refine it into what happens first? ( yellow zone) What are the early signs that they are going into an emotion. What is the full blown expression of that emotion? Our kids are highly logical. They don't understand the nuances, but they can definitely pay attention to details. And they can be taught to control outbursts and emotional meltdowns by recognizing the signs. Once our kids can recognize what is happening there is a chance to remove themselves from a situation before they encounter a negative experience such as a meltdown in the classroom. There is a chance to do it differently, to excuse themselves, to find a quiet place to have a time out. To create their own space.
There is a sense of comfort when you are in control of your own body. When it doesn't feel like what is happening is out of your control. I encourage you to google the CAT kit and do a little research of your own. This is an invaluable tool for any child.
In love and light,
Kathryn
Now my assistant was less than impressed and put her in an immediate time out but her husband ran over pulled her aside and said "but look! She is showing emotion!" She related the story and told me that usually the only way you could tell her daughter was mad was that she would cross her arms and little red spots would break out on her face. Tiny angry spots were the only leaks of her emotions.
One of the greatest pieces of Dr. Tony Attwood's CAT kit , is a section called the Body Thermometer.
It is a pretty simple concept. Our kids are relatively unaware of emotion. And they definitely don't label it the way we do. However, the biological indicators are the same for all of us. Anger shows us as heat, sweaty hands, heart pounding, sometimes headache, anxiety. Happy shows up as a feeling of energy, lightness, tingling, uncontrollable giggles. Funny enough, the indicators for fear and excitement are the same. Isn't that interesting? In that case, it is how the "mind" chooses to label the indicators. Which means, we actually have a choice noticing that set of indicators. Personally, I always enjoy excitement a lot more than fear!
The idea behind the body thermometer is that it is a laminated picture of a body. There are blanks all around the figure, beside the hands, heart, head, etc that you can fill out. There are also colour zones, green, yellow and red. You can think of them like stop lights. Green are emotions you don't have to monitor too closely. It is hard to hurt someone getting too happy. Yellow, is the zone where we start to pay attention to possible problematic emotions or early indications. Red, is where we notice the full blown expression of emotions like anger, sadness, fear etc.
Helping our kids control their behaviour around their emotions requires that they first be able to recognize the signs their bodies are giving them that they are entering that emotional state. This looks different for each person although there are general cues. The best way to start is in the moment that they are experiencing an emotion, create a process where you can do a body inventory with them. What is happening in your head right now? How about your hands? Are you clenching your hands into fists? Are they open? Are they sweaty or cold or warm?
Help them make an inventory of what happens to them during some basic familiar emotions.
Once you have done this you can refine it into what happens first? ( yellow zone) What are the early signs that they are going into an emotion. What is the full blown expression of that emotion? Our kids are highly logical. They don't understand the nuances, but they can definitely pay attention to details. And they can be taught to control outbursts and emotional meltdowns by recognizing the signs. Once our kids can recognize what is happening there is a chance to remove themselves from a situation before they encounter a negative experience such as a meltdown in the classroom. There is a chance to do it differently, to excuse themselves, to find a quiet place to have a time out. To create their own space.
There is a sense of comfort when you are in control of your own body. When it doesn't feel like what is happening is out of your control. I encourage you to google the CAT kit and do a little research of your own. This is an invaluable tool for any child.
In love and light,
Kathryn
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