When I look back, there were many signs that my youngest son experienced the world differently. The five senses, sight, smell, touch, hearing and taste are experienced as hostile assaults, instead of simply ways of gathering information.
As a baby, he loved to be held, but could never be rocked to sleep. He has always been a child that fights to stay alert and awake regardless of the time. Bright lights exhaust him and as such he sometimes opts to wear a hat with a brim or sunglasses. Sounds that are a whisper to the rest of us sound like a noisy symphony to him. Even taste and texture of the food he eats are carefully sorted into acceptable and not tolerable. The texture of clothing is important, the best clothes are the ones that have been washed a thousand times, the fibres soft and not scratchy against his skin. Tags must be cut out right to the seam and even then some are not tolerable.
Before the diagnosis he barely slept, often wandereing the house while the rest of us slept. Full of anxiety because he was alone and awake. A sound like the furnace kicking in would be enought to wake him out of a dead sleep and it was all he could do to find every pillow and blanket in the house to try to cover up all of the vents and make the sound go away.
I remember when he was four he would go sit by himself a lot, telling me that he needed a "time out". Not time out for misbehavior, but time out from the rest of us! We are all fairly noisy people with loud voices and he just gets to the point where he needs a bit of quiet time. He told me from the time he was very young. We were lucky he was so articulate and able to share his needs.
Melatonin and exercise have done a lot to help us cope with these sensitivities. He is able to take the melatonin to sleep and he and I go to the YMCA several times a week to either swim or walk on the treadmill. In the summer we walked or rode bikes almost every night. The large muscle group activity is very effective as wearing off the anxiety that builds up for him over the day.
Once he was able to sleep through the night, we noticed that many of the other sensitivities were far less of a problem. Melatonin has been a gift. It was offered as a solution by the professionals at the Glenrose who told me that sleep problems are very common. Interestingly, if he sleeps with one of us, he sleeps right through the night. It makes sense though when I think that the underlying emotion in Autism is fear. Now that I see how happy and relaxed he is I realize how terribly sleep deprived he was and I think about how I myself would have functioned under the same conditions. Anxiety is a key component in Autism and ADD and I would humbly suggest that if you can manage to create good sleep hygiene you will be laying a good supporting foundation for your child.
We have a system that he uses himself. The tablets are 3mg each. If he is having a good night, he only takes one. If he is feeling pretty good but has had any sort of issues during the day he takes 2 tablets. If he is really having a hard night and is scared to go to sleep he will take the full 9 mg or 3 tablets. Most nights he is fine with one or two. My son is 12 years old and it has worked really well to give him control of this aspect of his rountine. He is very responsible and I think it also reduces his anxiety to feel he controls it. He reminds me that it is time to go work out. He is learning what works for him and then being dilligent at doing it. We are trying to give him coping mechanisms that will support him for life.
I know that he will always experience the world differently than I can. I am trying to explain to him that we can choose to look at that as a deficit or a strength. Someone who views things differently can give the rest of us a chance to see things from another angle. He just lives life outside the box, that's all. And what an adventure that could be if your heart is open. And both my son's hearts are. As wide open as they can be, they are my gifts from the sky. I love you both so much. Thank you for your support in allowing me to share our journey with the world. I am so very proud of you both every single day.
There truly are no words to tell you,
but then, you already know.
In love and light,
Kathryn
As a baby, he loved to be held, but could never be rocked to sleep. He has always been a child that fights to stay alert and awake regardless of the time. Bright lights exhaust him and as such he sometimes opts to wear a hat with a brim or sunglasses. Sounds that are a whisper to the rest of us sound like a noisy symphony to him. Even taste and texture of the food he eats are carefully sorted into acceptable and not tolerable. The texture of clothing is important, the best clothes are the ones that have been washed a thousand times, the fibres soft and not scratchy against his skin. Tags must be cut out right to the seam and even then some are not tolerable.
Before the diagnosis he barely slept, often wandereing the house while the rest of us slept. Full of anxiety because he was alone and awake. A sound like the furnace kicking in would be enought to wake him out of a dead sleep and it was all he could do to find every pillow and blanket in the house to try to cover up all of the vents and make the sound go away.
I remember when he was four he would go sit by himself a lot, telling me that he needed a "time out". Not time out for misbehavior, but time out from the rest of us! We are all fairly noisy people with loud voices and he just gets to the point where he needs a bit of quiet time. He told me from the time he was very young. We were lucky he was so articulate and able to share his needs.
Melatonin and exercise have done a lot to help us cope with these sensitivities. He is able to take the melatonin to sleep and he and I go to the YMCA several times a week to either swim or walk on the treadmill. In the summer we walked or rode bikes almost every night. The large muscle group activity is very effective as wearing off the anxiety that builds up for him over the day.
Once he was able to sleep through the night, we noticed that many of the other sensitivities were far less of a problem. Melatonin has been a gift. It was offered as a solution by the professionals at the Glenrose who told me that sleep problems are very common. Interestingly, if he sleeps with one of us, he sleeps right through the night. It makes sense though when I think that the underlying emotion in Autism is fear. Now that I see how happy and relaxed he is I realize how terribly sleep deprived he was and I think about how I myself would have functioned under the same conditions. Anxiety is a key component in Autism and ADD and I would humbly suggest that if you can manage to create good sleep hygiene you will be laying a good supporting foundation for your child.
We have a system that he uses himself. The tablets are 3mg each. If he is having a good night, he only takes one. If he is feeling pretty good but has had any sort of issues during the day he takes 2 tablets. If he is really having a hard night and is scared to go to sleep he will take the full 9 mg or 3 tablets. Most nights he is fine with one or two. My son is 12 years old and it has worked really well to give him control of this aspect of his rountine. He is very responsible and I think it also reduces his anxiety to feel he controls it. He reminds me that it is time to go work out. He is learning what works for him and then being dilligent at doing it. We are trying to give him coping mechanisms that will support him for life.
I know that he will always experience the world differently than I can. I am trying to explain to him that we can choose to look at that as a deficit or a strength. Someone who views things differently can give the rest of us a chance to see things from another angle. He just lives life outside the box, that's all. And what an adventure that could be if your heart is open. And both my son's hearts are. As wide open as they can be, they are my gifts from the sky. I love you both so much. Thank you for your support in allowing me to share our journey with the world. I am so very proud of you both every single day.
There truly are no words to tell you,
but then, you already know.
In love and light,
Kathryn
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