This is a topic I could really write an essay on. From all perspectives.
And the two are very different. From an autism perspective, lonely and alone are dramatically different depending on the amount of social awareness present. How able our kids are to take someone else's perspective. Although my youngest has Asperger's, he is developing more and more social awareness as the years and lessons role by. He still has trouble reading social cues, but he is very aware when he "doesn't get it right". It is the worst really, like the early stages of Alzheimer's where you know you are forgetting things but can't quite figure out why. The fear stage. (My grandmother died of Alzheimer's and being very social myself, I always joke that I don't think it would be such a bad way to go for me. Just think, new people, new places every day!!! ) Sounds like the perfect Kathryn adventure actually!
He has experienced both in very acute ways. I guess we all have. I know in my own life, and those of you who know me will attest, that I have spent most of my life in a mad rush to fill the space. To never be alone.
I don't really know why. Up to a few years ago I would have told you I hated being alone. I love people. I am happiest in a big crowd, laughing and talking up a storm. It is only recently that I have wondered why I never wanted to be alone with myself. Because that's what it is really about, all that avoidance. Busy making.
It is about ways to avoid being alone with yourself. What was it I didn't want to see? Didn't want to hear?
It has been the lesson of my life, that it is worse to be lonely in relationships than to be alone. Somehow, alone you expect to be lonely. With others, you don't. The way will show the way, and thus the path I have been on is perfect and necessary. Beautiful and complete. The meditation has helped me to sit with myself. Be in my own space. To learn to enjoy the simplicity of my own company. The love I have that fills my heart for everyone else, I am now learning to share with myself too. I am so grateful for all of the lessons, easy and hard. It is now time for me to get to really know myself. Really listen to the angel that dwells inside me and just leave the space open for now.
We spent last night welcoming our new addition, the boys exstatic and puppy drunk. Both boys texting and skyping to share their happiness and photos with friends. My youngest slid over beside me while his brother had the puppy and said " Can we do that sitting thing again, alone, just you and me with that little burning thing that smells good? I feel like I just need some time to be alone."
Absolutely we can. Together, we can be alone. And in the amazing space of allow, neither one of us will be lonely. We will discover the difference between lonely and alone.
In love and light,
Kathryn
And the two are very different. From an autism perspective, lonely and alone are dramatically different depending on the amount of social awareness present. How able our kids are to take someone else's perspective. Although my youngest has Asperger's, he is developing more and more social awareness as the years and lessons role by. He still has trouble reading social cues, but he is very aware when he "doesn't get it right". It is the worst really, like the early stages of Alzheimer's where you know you are forgetting things but can't quite figure out why. The fear stage. (My grandmother died of Alzheimer's and being very social myself, I always joke that I don't think it would be such a bad way to go for me. Just think, new people, new places every day!!! ) Sounds like the perfect Kathryn adventure actually!
He has experienced both in very acute ways. I guess we all have. I know in my own life, and those of you who know me will attest, that I have spent most of my life in a mad rush to fill the space. To never be alone.
I don't really know why. Up to a few years ago I would have told you I hated being alone. I love people. I am happiest in a big crowd, laughing and talking up a storm. It is only recently that I have wondered why I never wanted to be alone with myself. Because that's what it is really about, all that avoidance. Busy making.
It is about ways to avoid being alone with yourself. What was it I didn't want to see? Didn't want to hear?
It has been the lesson of my life, that it is worse to be lonely in relationships than to be alone. Somehow, alone you expect to be lonely. With others, you don't. The way will show the way, and thus the path I have been on is perfect and necessary. Beautiful and complete. The meditation has helped me to sit with myself. Be in my own space. To learn to enjoy the simplicity of my own company. The love I have that fills my heart for everyone else, I am now learning to share with myself too. I am so grateful for all of the lessons, easy and hard. It is now time for me to get to really know myself. Really listen to the angel that dwells inside me and just leave the space open for now.
We spent last night welcoming our new addition, the boys exstatic and puppy drunk. Both boys texting and skyping to share their happiness and photos with friends. My youngest slid over beside me while his brother had the puppy and said " Can we do that sitting thing again, alone, just you and me with that little burning thing that smells good? I feel like I just need some time to be alone."
Absolutely we can. Together, we can be alone. And in the amazing space of allow, neither one of us will be lonely. We will discover the difference between lonely and alone.
In love and light,
Kathryn
I am in the same page in my path. Alone, but not lonely. I am with myself. You did an amazing job putting it together. I always say the best conversation for a human to enjoy is the one have with his heart and soul and mind. I never meditate, but is that what meditation is all about? You are Love and Light.
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