If you are missing an arm or a leg, people can tell there is a problem. If you have a crutch or a cane, accomodations are made. What about if you have a disability no one can see?
I was speaking to a collegue, who was asking about my kids and how they were doing. He said he could so sympathise as he had just dealt with a family whose son was considered very autistic, and had a discussion about the issues that they face with this little guy. The most difficult thing was the attitudes and comments from complete strangers. They had been travelling by air, and their son went into a complete meltdown as our kids are sometimes known to do. As any of you with an autistic child know, there is no reasoning with them. The best we hope for is that they exhaust themselves and run out of steam. Sometimes the more you interfere the worse it gets.
People were telling them to get control of their child, making rude and cruel comments and they basically wanted to fall through the floor. Their stress level was at about a 10 anyway and the jeering comments fell upon them like hammers. An already difficult situation now a humiliating one.
I have many experiences over the years that were very similar. My added complication was kids that were 98 percentile for size. People expected them to act years older than there were chronologically and add the autism on top of that, you've got a recipe for disaster. It got me thinking this morning, about how we perhaps could preempt some of these issues by educating those around us in a quiet gentle way before we run into issues. A little understanding goes a long way and brings an invisible disability into the light. When people are aware, my experience has been that they cannot be helpful enough. Can you imagine yelling at someone who fell with a cane? Get control of your legs?
Over the years I am developing thicker skin and a better sense of humour. And I am less afraid to tell people where we are at. And I am happy to say we have not had an incident like the one I heard about this morning in a very long time. But if my spider sense is tingling I do not hesitate to prep those around me about what may happen. I have yet to find anyone who was snarky to us once they understood the issues.
May we someday get to a place where we all learn to be more helpful than critical of each other.
In love and light,
Kathryn
I was speaking to a collegue, who was asking about my kids and how they were doing. He said he could so sympathise as he had just dealt with a family whose son was considered very autistic, and had a discussion about the issues that they face with this little guy. The most difficult thing was the attitudes and comments from complete strangers. They had been travelling by air, and their son went into a complete meltdown as our kids are sometimes known to do. As any of you with an autistic child know, there is no reasoning with them. The best we hope for is that they exhaust themselves and run out of steam. Sometimes the more you interfere the worse it gets.
People were telling them to get control of their child, making rude and cruel comments and they basically wanted to fall through the floor. Their stress level was at about a 10 anyway and the jeering comments fell upon them like hammers. An already difficult situation now a humiliating one.
I have many experiences over the years that were very similar. My added complication was kids that were 98 percentile for size. People expected them to act years older than there were chronologically and add the autism on top of that, you've got a recipe for disaster. It got me thinking this morning, about how we perhaps could preempt some of these issues by educating those around us in a quiet gentle way before we run into issues. A little understanding goes a long way and brings an invisible disability into the light. When people are aware, my experience has been that they cannot be helpful enough. Can you imagine yelling at someone who fell with a cane? Get control of your legs?
Over the years I am developing thicker skin and a better sense of humour. And I am less afraid to tell people where we are at. And I am happy to say we have not had an incident like the one I heard about this morning in a very long time. But if my spider sense is tingling I do not hesitate to prep those around me about what may happen. I have yet to find anyone who was snarky to us once they understood the issues.
May we someday get to a place where we all learn to be more helpful than critical of each other.
In love and light,
Kathryn
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